I know that I should not dwell on the "what if's" but it is human nature to do so. All that keeps running through my mind is "what if".
What if I hadn't walked into Cody's room last night at that exact moment...
Would I have thought that he finally went to sleep because he was no longer crying?
Would I have heard him choking?
My blog tends to be filled with the exciting and happy moments that are happening in our lives right now. Although, not everything that comes with raising a baby is easy. Last night turned out to be a very scary time in the Stefan household...let me explain:
Doug and I have not been against letting Cody Cry It Out (CIO). I was not ok with this in the beginning, because when a newborn baby cries, there is something that he needs. It has really been just recently that we have let him cry in his crib for longer than 10 minutes. We have been having trouble with Cody's sleeping for the past two weeks now. I'm not sure if this is the early process of teething (Doug got his first tooth at three months) or if this is the dredded Four Month Sleep Regression that I have been reading about. Either way, it has been frustrating at times.
Last night I put Cody down after his final feeding. I knew right from the start that it wasn't going to be a good night. He started crying before he even touched the matress. I leaned down and kissed his bald little head and told him that he was ok. He was full, dry, burped, and sleepy (until then). I decided that I would let him CIO. He would cry very hard for a while, then he would calm himself down for a few minutes, then he would start a slow whine of a cry for a bit and it would start all over (I'm sure that some people reading this are against CIO, but I promise not to judge the way anyone else parents their children if you don't judge the way I do). Cody had been doing this cycle for about 30 minutes. It was at this point that I had to go in there and get him. I couldn't take it anymore, and I know he had had more than enough.
This is what I call my "God Moment". God sent me in his room at the exact time I needed to be there. When I opened the door (it wasn't all the way shut), I looked into his crib to see him projectile spitting up (while on his back) and choking on it all at the same time (he had just started to do it). I will never.ever forget the scared look on my baby's face as he was choking. It was at this moment that I became "Super Mom". I picked him up faster than I ever thought possible, had him facing forward and started patting his little back. He was soaked and so was I, but I didn't care. When I realized that he was ok, I fell to my knees holding him and started crying. While I was sobbing, I was thanking God for being in there with us. Thanking Him for keeping me calm when I needed to be. You would think that my sweet son would be crying too after all of this, but he wasn't. As soon as he had stopped coughing, he was snuggling with me and smiling at me (which made me feel that much worse). Just goes to show what a sweet boy he is.
I decided at that point that Cody and I were going to snuggle all night. And we did! He slept in my arms on the couch. I'm not sure where I stand at this point with letting him CIO. I think I'll do a little praying on that matter, and turn it over to God. I know He'll give me the answer I need.
Unfortunatly, like I said we keep thinking about the "what if's" when we should be (we are) rejoicing that our son is ok. Words truly cannot express the fear that I felt last night, but I am so thankful that our Father was watching over and protecting us!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
milestones
So today, I did something that I had been dreading to do even before Cody was born...I cleaned out his closet! I guess it might not bother some people. I'm not even that sentimental. Really, even putting away the newborn clothes and the 0-3 month clothes weren't a big deal. It was when I hit the first three sleepers that I bought that I started to cry.
Those three sleepers were purchased right after I found out I was pregnant, and on my birthday. Before we even knew that Cody was indeed a boy. I knew that putting them away for future use would be hard...but I didn't imagine I would feel this sad about it. I definitely kept him in them longer than he was really able to fit them. :) While I was folding them, it really hit me. All of those emotions I felt buying them last year. All of the excitement I had! I know it's a part of life. Cody is going to grow - and that's what I want him to do! Grow and become a healthy, happy, handsome little boy! It is just hard to put away the past sometimes.
I know that it's not the last time I will see those sleepers! We (God willing) will have many more times to use those sleepers. And I look forward to it! But right now, I look forward to Cody continuing to grow and becoming the person that God has meant for him to be!
p.s. Cody's cloth diapers are even on a bigger setting now...and I was a little sad about that, too! I'm such a mom!! :)
Those three sleepers were purchased right after I found out I was pregnant, and on my birthday. Before we even knew that Cody was indeed a boy. I knew that putting them away for future use would be hard...but I didn't imagine I would feel this sad about it. I definitely kept him in them longer than he was really able to fit them. :) While I was folding them, it really hit me. All of those emotions I felt buying them last year. All of the excitement I had! I know it's a part of life. Cody is going to grow - and that's what I want him to do! Grow and become a healthy, happy, handsome little boy! It is just hard to put away the past sometimes.
I know that it's not the last time I will see those sleepers! We (God willing) will have many more times to use those sleepers. And I look forward to it! But right now, I look forward to Cody continuing to grow and becoming the person that God has meant for him to be!
p.s. Cody's cloth diapers are even on a bigger setting now...and I was a little sad about that, too! I'm such a mom!! :)
It's been a year (part 2)
In the past year, I have had so many new and exciting experiences that I will never forget! The day I first realized that I had a 'baby bump', when I first felt our little man kick (the weekend of our 6th anniversary), finding out that our sweet Wolfie was a boy!, having Doug feel him kick for the first time, baby showers, and eventually going into labor (which was an amazing experience that I loved, even though it was painful!). The best part of the past year was finally meeting our little guy! He baked for the perfect amount of time, and picked his birthday.
I sometimes wish that I had a camera crew at our house following us and taping every moment from last year, so that I could always remember everything perfectly. Then I realize that I will remember everything without that. I have those memories tucked away, forever to remember. Now I look forward to the many memories we will make with our first born son, and am excited for the memories to come when we expand our family!
God has blessed us this past year, that's for sure! I thank Him every.single.day for what I believe is the greatest gift that he can give a woman - the chance to be a mother.
I sometimes wish that I had a camera crew at our house following us and taping every moment from last year, so that I could always remember everything perfectly. Then I realize that I will remember everything without that. I have those memories tucked away, forever to remember. Now I look forward to the many memories we will make with our first born son, and am excited for the memories to come when we expand our family!
God has blessed us this past year, that's for sure! I thank Him every.single.day for what I believe is the greatest gift that he can give a woman - the chance to be a mother.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
comparison
It was a year ago today that I took my very first belly picture at exactly 5 weeks pregnant. I thought I would post that picture, and a picture that I took today of my belly, just to compare. I am right at four months and one day postpartum.
5 weeks - 1.15.10
5 weeks - 1.15.10
4 months postpartum - 1.15.11
4 months postpartum - 1.15.11
Friday, January 14, 2011
Cody's 4 Month Birthday!
Today is Cody's 4 Month Birthday! Happy Birthday little dude. You are the love of my life (well, you and your daddy!) and I cannot imagine life without you. You bring us so much joy and it is so fun to watch you grow and learn each and every day!
Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone
Cody had his four month Well Baby visit today, and got his second round of shots. Our long and lean guy comes in at 25 inches and 12 lbs. 14 oz. He is in the 50th percentile for his height and 25th percentile for weight. He has gained 2.5 lbs. since his two month visit. The Dr. thinks he is doing great, and was very impressed with his head strength...well, how could our child not be strong - look at his daddy!! Dr. Grills also told us that we can wait until six months to start Cody on solids (YAY!) and that if I feel like he needs a little more to start him, but he doesn't think we'll need to. We will continue to nurse and supplement every so often with formula.
His shots went well again. He stopped crying as soon as I picked him up, but this time he has been pretty sleepy all day. Sleepy is better than fussy! We have one more round of shots at six months, and then we won't have any more until he is a year old.
Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone
Cody had his four month Well Baby visit today, and got his second round of shots. Our long and lean guy comes in at 25 inches and 12 lbs. 14 oz. He is in the 50th percentile for his height and 25th percentile for weight. He has gained 2.5 lbs. since his two month visit. The Dr. thinks he is doing great, and was very impressed with his head strength...well, how could our child not be strong - look at his daddy!! Dr. Grills also told us that we can wait until six months to start Cody on solids (YAY!) and that if I feel like he needs a little more to start him, but he doesn't think we'll need to. We will continue to nurse and supplement every so often with formula.
His shots went well again. He stopped crying as soon as I picked him up, but this time he has been pretty sleepy all day. Sleepy is better than fussy! We have one more round of shots at six months, and then we won't have any more until he is a year old.
Four Month Cody :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
It's been a year
First off...I'm pretty sure writing this post is going to make me cry :)
Wow, how fast a year goes by! I can hardly believe it! A year ago today I took a home pregnancy test. I still remember very vividly pacing in the bathroom, anxiously awaiting the results. All I wanted to see was one word pop up on that little test. At this point, it had been about seven months that Doug and I had stopped trying to not get pregnant and I had seen two little words pop up on that screen a few too many times (not pregnant). I just knew this time was it, it had to be! Those three minutes were about the longest of my life. I had a little panic in me as I saw the hourglass disappear...it was that split second before my result popped up that I though, what if I'm wrong - what if this isn't really it?! That thought was soon removed from my mind when I looked down to see the most wonderful word in the world...PREGNANT.
Finally. My dream of being a mom was going to be fulfilled. I couldn't wait to tell Doug, but I had to make sure that the result was accurate. So, on I went to take two more tests all with the same result. But that wasn't enough for me, I needed to get it confirmed by a Dr. So, I waited to tell Doug, wanting to do it in a special way. That night and the next were some of the hardest nights of my life...wow, it's hard to keep that secret from your husband!
Well, the next day, January 14, 2010, I called my Dr. and made an appointment for that morning. I left work, and hurried to the hospital in Lamar (where her office is) and waited. When they called me back, they had me take another test. When my Dr. walked in, she confirmed what I couldn't wait to hear from her..I was indeed expecting! Yes! Now that it was official, I got information from her on how far along I was (almost 5 weeks...would be 5 weeks the next day, Jan. 15.) and Dr. recommendations.
On the 15th, I told Doug. In my first blog post I told how I let him know. It was very special. I gave him a bib that read 'I Love Daddy', a positive test and a poem from our little one which you can read in my first post last year (I have that poem in Cody's room).
*I'll be posting a 'part 2' to this on Saturday.* **4 months ago today, I went into labor! Doesn't seem possible!**
Wow, how fast a year goes by! I can hardly believe it! A year ago today I took a home pregnancy test. I still remember very vividly pacing in the bathroom, anxiously awaiting the results. All I wanted to see was one word pop up on that little test. At this point, it had been about seven months that Doug and I had stopped trying to not get pregnant and I had seen two little words pop up on that screen a few too many times (not pregnant). I just knew this time was it, it had to be! Those three minutes were about the longest of my life. I had a little panic in me as I saw the hourglass disappear...it was that split second before my result popped up that I though, what if I'm wrong - what if this isn't really it?! That thought was soon removed from my mind when I looked down to see the most wonderful word in the world...PREGNANT.
Finally. My dream of being a mom was going to be fulfilled. I couldn't wait to tell Doug, but I had to make sure that the result was accurate. So, on I went to take two more tests all with the same result. But that wasn't enough for me, I needed to get it confirmed by a Dr. So, I waited to tell Doug, wanting to do it in a special way. That night and the next were some of the hardest nights of my life...wow, it's hard to keep that secret from your husband!
Well, the next day, January 14, 2010, I called my Dr. and made an appointment for that morning. I left work, and hurried to the hospital in Lamar (where her office is) and waited. When they called me back, they had me take another test. When my Dr. walked in, she confirmed what I couldn't wait to hear from her..I was indeed expecting! Yes! Now that it was official, I got information from her on how far along I was (almost 5 weeks...would be 5 weeks the next day, Jan. 15.) and Dr. recommendations.
On the 15th, I told Doug. In my first blog post I told how I let him know. It was very special. I gave him a bib that read 'I Love Daddy', a positive test and a poem from our little one which you can read in my first post last year (I have that poem in Cody's room).
*I'll be posting a 'part 2' to this on Saturday.* **4 months ago today, I went into labor! Doesn't seem possible!**
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
where oh where has my hair gone?? and my body!
I know that when you are pregnant, your hair tends to get thicker. You don't actually grow more hair, hormones cause it to not fall out as much as normal. Unfortunatly, I never really got to have the lovely thick hair during pregnancy...I have very fine, thin hair and I never really saw a change in it.
Naturally, after I had Cody, I expected to lose some hair anyway...I mean, just because I didn't see or feel the change, I knew I had to have some extra hair up there, right?? Well, month one came and went along with month two and most of month three without me losing any hair. I thought, hey - maybe I won't experience this hair loss that I had people tell me about. Aparently I thought too soon. For the past two weeks or so, I have been shedding like crazy. Kind of gross, I know.
Thinking of that brings me to this - I'm so ready for my body to be back to normal! I've been back to my pre-pregnancy weight since Cody was 3 months old, but things are just not like they were. All of my jeans fit again, and some that were a little snug before I got pregnant even fit now, but they just fit differently! Things are a bit more *gasp* saggy :(
Fortunately, I got some new jogging shoes for Christmas and a BOB jogging stroller (that's great for our gravel roads) and as soon as the cold Winter is gone and we welcome nice Spring days, I'll be out hitting the pavement (or gravel) getting back in shape!! I can't wait!
Naturally, after I had Cody, I expected to lose some hair anyway...I mean, just because I didn't see or feel the change, I knew I had to have some extra hair up there, right?? Well, month one came and went along with month two and most of month three without me losing any hair. I thought, hey - maybe I won't experience this hair loss that I had people tell me about. Aparently I thought too soon. For the past two weeks or so, I have been shedding like crazy. Kind of gross, I know.
Thinking of that brings me to this - I'm so ready for my body to be back to normal! I've been back to my pre-pregnancy weight since Cody was 3 months old, but things are just not like they were. All of my jeans fit again, and some that were a little snug before I got pregnant even fit now, but they just fit differently! Things are a bit more *gasp* saggy :(
Fortunately, I got some new jogging shoes for Christmas and a BOB jogging stroller (that's great for our gravel roads) and as soon as the cold Winter is gone and we welcome nice Spring days, I'll be out hitting the pavement (or gravel) getting back in shape!! I can't wait!
Friday, January 7, 2011
just a few thoughts
A week from today will be Cody's four month appointment. He'll get his shots, get weighed and measured and we'll talk to the Dr. about how he's growing. At our two month appointment, Dr. Grills told us that at this appointment we would discuss whether Cody would start solids yet or not. Dr. Grills told me then that he likes to wait until six months unless he feels the baby needs more calories. I was very happy to hear him say that. I have felt from before Cody was even born, that four months was too soon for my child to start eating solids. I'm not against it, obvioulsy if that's what Cody needs, then it's going to happen. People start their children on solids all the time at four months. But my personal preference will be to wait. I don't feel that Cody is quite ready for that task. I will be praying this week that Code Man is getting the nourishment that he needs and we will be able to hold off on solids until at least 5 months of age.
Last night Doug & I were in Joplin doing a little shopping (iPhone 4 anyone?? :)) Unfortunately, I'm not patient enough to wait in line at the store, and we left after waiting for 20 minutes while some of the employees were just walking around looking bored (yeah, that ticked me off!). Anyway, we decided to head to the mall to Sears to get some tools for the farm. It was about 8:45 when we walked in, and I told Doug that I was going to run into Old Navy just to look. However, I was not going to look for myself...I was going to look for Code Man. I can honestly say I never thought a day would come when I would go to the mall and not care a bit about shopping for myself!
This kid has more than enough clothes, but it seems every time I go to any store, be it walmart or to the mall I must go look at baby clothes!
When I got into Old Navy, I had about 10 minutes before the mall was closing. I almost ran to the back of the store and found some great clearance items for the boy. A couple pair of shoes, some onesies, some pants and socks. Whoa! I made it out of there with 2 minutes to spare!
At least Doug can't tell me that I have more clothes than can fit into my closet anymore...he has to say that about Cody!! :)
Last night Doug & I were in Joplin doing a little shopping (iPhone 4 anyone?? :)) Unfortunately, I'm not patient enough to wait in line at the store, and we left after waiting for 20 minutes while some of the employees were just walking around looking bored (yeah, that ticked me off!). Anyway, we decided to head to the mall to Sears to get some tools for the farm. It was about 8:45 when we walked in, and I told Doug that I was going to run into Old Navy just to look. However, I was not going to look for myself...I was going to look for Code Man. I can honestly say I never thought a day would come when I would go to the mall and not care a bit about shopping for myself!
This kid has more than enough clothes, but it seems every time I go to any store, be it walmart or to the mall I must go look at baby clothes!
When I got into Old Navy, I had about 10 minutes before the mall was closing. I almost ran to the back of the store and found some great clearance items for the boy. A couple pair of shoes, some onesies, some pants and socks. Whoa! I made it out of there with 2 minutes to spare!
At least Doug can't tell me that I have more clothes than can fit into my closet anymore...he has to say that about Cody!! :)
Big Boy
I cannot believe how big my baby is getting!! He will be 4 months old in a week, and my infant has turned into a very strong, curious little guy! It's a bittersweet feeling seeing him grow and change so much so fast. I'm so excited to watch him learn new things every single day, but I miss that new feeling of a baby. I have quite a few friends who are expecting right now, and I'm almost green with envy over it! :) I truly miss being pregnant. I felt so beautiful, and I loved every minute of it!
Ok, my boo-hoo moment is over, and now on to what Cody has been doing...
Code Man has been rolling over from his tummy to his back since he was 15 days old. He really hates tummy time, and it has not gotten better. For quite some time now, he has been rolling from side to side while on his back - and I have just been waiting for him to go fully over. Yesterday (January 5), we were playing on the floor in his room, talking and laughing at me dancing like a goof! He was so happy just rolling to his left side, staying there for a bit and then returning to his back. I kept telling him how great he was doing rocking back and forth, and was trying to encourage him to roll all the way over. The next thing I know, Cody rolls to his side and keeps going - all the way over to his tummy! I was so excited! I started praising him and telling him how strong he was and what a big boy he is. He was pretty darn pleased with himself, until he realized where he was...on his dreaded tummy. Cody was not at all pleased with that, and decided to throw a fit. I rolled him back over and while he kept lightly crying (more of a whining sort of cry) he decided that he wanted to keep rolling. He got in about 5 rolls before the whine became an all out cry! It didn't take long to calm him down, and then he was so sleepy! All that rolling really takes it out of a little guy.
Code has also been laughing for a while, but they are not long laughs, more like short single giggles. I have been waiting to hear just all out giggles and it finally happened on December 30. Mom and I had our hair appointment that evening, and our main hair man, Tom, (who has a fantastic personality) was talking to Cody. He wasn't doing anything different than what the rest of us do, just replying to Cody's stories. Well, Code that that he was the funniest thing on two feet because out came these adorable long giggles that I would have killed to have on camera! He was so excited to be talking to Tom and try as I might, the little guy won't give out any of those giggles for me!! Little stinker! Needless to say, we are looking forward to our next appointment!!
Ok, my boo-hoo moment is over, and now on to what Cody has been doing...
Code Man has been rolling over from his tummy to his back since he was 15 days old. He really hates tummy time, and it has not gotten better. For quite some time now, he has been rolling from side to side while on his back - and I have just been waiting for him to go fully over. Yesterday (January 5), we were playing on the floor in his room, talking and laughing at me dancing like a goof! He was so happy just rolling to his left side, staying there for a bit and then returning to his back. I kept telling him how great he was doing rocking back and forth, and was trying to encourage him to roll all the way over. The next thing I know, Cody rolls to his side and keeps going - all the way over to his tummy! I was so excited! I started praising him and telling him how strong he was and what a big boy he is. He was pretty darn pleased with himself, until he realized where he was...on his dreaded tummy. Cody was not at all pleased with that, and decided to throw a fit. I rolled him back over and while he kept lightly crying (more of a whining sort of cry) he decided that he wanted to keep rolling. He got in about 5 rolls before the whine became an all out cry! It didn't take long to calm him down, and then he was so sleepy! All that rolling really takes it out of a little guy.
Code has also been laughing for a while, but they are not long laughs, more like short single giggles. I have been waiting to hear just all out giggles and it finally happened on December 30. Mom and I had our hair appointment that evening, and our main hair man, Tom, (who has a fantastic personality) was talking to Cody. He wasn't doing anything different than what the rest of us do, just replying to Cody's stories. Well, Code that that he was the funniest thing on two feet because out came these adorable long giggles that I would have killed to have on camera! He was so excited to be talking to Tom and try as I might, the little guy won't give out any of those giggles for me!! Little stinker! Needless to say, we are looking forward to our next appointment!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Cody's First Christmas
Wow, December was a busy month! We got to celebrate our first Christmas with our beautiful baby boy - it was probably one of the best yet! Cody was my favorite gift this year :)
We had lots to do over a weeks time. Christmas Eve service followed by dinner at grandmas, then early Christmas morning at our house, breakfast at Doug's parents, lunch at my parents, home for the evening. Then Christmas with the Banta's, a day off, and Christmas with the Stefan's. Goodness! Our poor little guy was pooped! We had a little trouble with him getting off schedule, and then I had a little trouble with a drop in my milk supply from being gone so much. Thankfully, Cody is back on schedule, and I've been eating oatmeal and drinking water like crazy to get my supply back up.
I'm looking forward to next Christmas, when Cody will be really interested in everything - and our tree will probably have ornaments from the middle up :) Most importantly, I want to teach Cody from the beginning what Christmas is all about!
I'll be posting soon about what Cody has been up to recently! He changes so much every single day!
We had lots to do over a weeks time. Christmas Eve service followed by dinner at grandmas, then early Christmas morning at our house, breakfast at Doug's parents, lunch at my parents, home for the evening. Then Christmas with the Banta's, a day off, and Christmas with the Stefan's. Goodness! Our poor little guy was pooped! We had a little trouble with him getting off schedule, and then I had a little trouble with a drop in my milk supply from being gone so much. Thankfully, Cody is back on schedule, and I've been eating oatmeal and drinking water like crazy to get my supply back up.
I'm looking forward to next Christmas, when Cody will be really interested in everything - and our tree will probably have ornaments from the middle up :) Most importantly, I want to teach Cody from the beginning what Christmas is all about!
Look what I found under our tree - Best Gift Ever! :)
First Christmas as a family of three (please notice how long and skinny our son is)
Merry Christmas from the Stefan's
I just had to share this picture from our Christmas "photo shoot"...it cracks me up!
I'll be posting soon about what Cody has been up to recently! He changes so much every single day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
