the parent i never though i'd be

Over the course of the past 15 (almost 16) months, I have realized that I am the parent I never though I would be.  Not that it's a bad thing...because it is what works for us, and what I have realized is natural to me.

When I was pregnant with Cody I dared to mutter the words that I'm sure every person who is not a parent has said..."my kid will never do that".  Oh, silly me!  Since then, I have had those words bite me in the butt.  But - the things that "my kid will never do" aren't bad things.  It comes down to different parenting styles.

I 'knew' I would be that mom who let her kid cry it out in his crib.  I could have sworn that I thought it was inappropriate to breastfeed your child after 12 months of age.  I didn't think it was a big deal to let your kid watch a few cartoons everyday.

I've talked before about how I now feel about letting my baby cry it out.  It is NOT for me.  People will say to make sure all their needs have been met (hungry, cold, dirty dipe) and let them cry after that.  But that doesn't mean that their emotional needs are being met.  Obviously, if a baby (less than 12 months and especially less than 8 months) is crying something is wrong.  I believe (don't worry, I don't expect everyone to agree with me on this) that a baby cries for a reason, and will not learn to manipulate a parent until after 9 months of age or later.  Unfortunately Cody had to be my guinea pig for me to learn this.  Thankfully though, it only had to happen one time for me to realize that I need to follow my gut and not what some stupid book on how to teach your child to sleep says.  Now I know that I fall more into the "Attachment Parenting" style.  For me, it felt right for Cody to co-sleep with us.  It felt right for me to 'babywear' him throughout the day for most of his first 4-5 months.  It felt right to not hear my baby cry for no reason at all (even though the 'books' say he'll learn to manipulate). 

Cody breastfed until he was 15 months old.  Actually, we would still be going if it wasn't for me being pregnant - my milk dried up.  I never in a million years thought that I would be comfortable nursing past 12 months, or that I would want to.  I thought it was (like I said earlier) inappropriate.  I was so naive about it.  A baby is still a baby at 12 months, in a sense.  Their little belly's aren't mature enough before that to handle cow's milk.  So, how magially at 1 year of age does that change?  It doesn't.  I realized that it needed to be a very gradual change.  And, it's hard to look past the fact that no matter what, mom's milk is always better than anything else (cow's milk).  I look forward to nursing Oscar for a while, no matter what anyone thinks.  That is unless I get pregnant again while he's still going ;)

I knew I would never let a TV babysit my kid, but I did think that letting him watch a few cartoons throughout the day wouldn't hurt.  I still don't think it's a bad thing to do, but it's not really for me.  I feel so guilty letting Cody watch TV.  So, he watches Mickey Mouse while I get ready in the morning, and that's about it.  To be honest, he is not interested in watching anything.  And that makes me happy.  I don't understand people who constantly have cartoons on for their kids.  But, to each their own I guess.

My parenting style might not be right for everyone, but it is right for my boy(s).  I know that I'll be even more confident the next time around, and won't second guess myself in so many situations.  How wonderful it is to be the parent I never though I would be.