time

I have been working on a few posts for the past couple of months...things that I want to say for Cody, and for myself.  I continue to work on them, but the process is slow.  I am so disappointed in myself for not keeping up with my blog better, because it is my journal for Cody and for my future children.  But the truth is...I adore spending all of my day every day with Cody.  And getting on the internet for anything (email, facebook, blog) is just not high on my priority list.  I wish it were.  I know that I have missed putting a few things in Cody's baby book and on here, but I know the really important things I will always remember - no matter if I have a date written down or not.

Right now Cody is over at his grandma & grandpa's house with daddy.  As I sit here typing this, I can't help but think how unfair it is how fast time goes by.  God's greatest gift to me is my child (and future children, and it makes me so sad to think that they are only small for a little while.  In less than two months, my baby boy will be the big ONE.  Yep, already!

I keep thinking back over the past 10 months, and I feel like I didn't have enough time each month.  The first month was a huge life changing event, and it took some time to get adjusted.  Then the next couple of months passed and we got to know and trust each other (as mother and son).  Then, I felt like I just couldn't wait for his next big milestone to happen.  Rolling over from back to tummy, finding his feet, sitting up, eating more than breastmilk, talking, crawling, lifting up...all of those things I couldn't wait for.  Now that they have all happened, I wonder why...why couldn't I wait??  Why was I in such a hurry to have my baby grow?  (I know all you mom's out there know what I mean!!)  While I have greatly enjoyed seeing Cody learn new things every single day, and love the look of accomplishment he has when he does something new, I feel like I have missed something.  I wish I would have taken more pictures, although if you were to see how many pictures were on my computer, you would tell me I was being stupid!

It is such a bittersweet time in my life right now.  I am so excited to see Cody grow, but I also miss those sweet moments of 'us time' at night, just him and me in his nursery at 2 a.m. nursing him and rocking him back to sleep.  Those are times I will keep in my heart and cherish forever.  Times that I can't get back, but they are snapshots in my mind.

I Love you, Cody Douglas.  To the moon and back.  More than you will ever know!